Wisdom and Wit – Memorable Quotes from Red Forman

Dumbasses shouldn’t take up space in my brain.

If the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

You know that feeling when you’re doing something stupid? That’s your whole life.

It’s all about the money, and I’m always broke.

My house, my rules, my foot in your ass.

You can’t polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter.

I don’t care if you hate me, but don’t mess with my family.

A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.

If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart.

You’re a great kid, but you’re also a complete moron.

Life is a form of punishment; it’s just easier to deal with if you have a sense of humor.

The more I know, the more I realize I don’t want to know anything.

You’re lucky I don’t put your head through the wall.

Do I look like I care? Because I don’t.

My patience is like my hairline: it’s thinning.

You’ll never be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but you can be the one that cuts the deepest.

I don’t suffer fools gladly; in fact, I don’t suffer them at all.

Teenagers are like cockroaches: they get everywhere.

Education is important, but understanding the world is crucial.

A little pain never hurt anyone—at least not anyone I care about.

If I wanted to listen to an idiot, I’d turn on the TV.

Your dreams are like my socks: I don’t give a damn about them.

I’m not here to make friends; I’m here to make you smarter.

Common sense isn’t that common, is it?

Dare to dream? More like dare to do something useful.

Life is tough; it’s even tougher if you’re stupid.

If you’re not getting kicked in the teeth, you’re not trying hard enough.

Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness; it’s just strategy.

Every generation has its idiots; I just happen to be surrounded by yours.

You can’t fix stupid, but you can sure slap it around.

Your opinions are like armpits: everyone has them, and they all stink.

Being average is a full-time job—good luck with that.

You think you’re special? Well, you’re just another face in the crowd!

I’ve got a degree in ‘not giving a damn.’

Reality is a cruel teacher; it throws you into the deep end.

In a world full of sheep, strive to be the wolf.

If you can’t handle the truth, you’re in deep trouble.

Your failure isn’t my problem—I can’t fix everything.

Stop whining; it doesn’t get you anywhere.

Life’s a journey, but yours is stuck in traffic.

The world isn’t a playground; it’s a battlefield.

You want wisdom? Look elsewhere; I’m fresh out.

Don’t take life too seriously; you’ll never get out alive.

I’m an acquired taste; if you don’t like me, acquire some taste.

Keep your chin up; it’s hard to kick your ass when you’re looking down.

Wisdom and Wit – Memorable Quotes from Red Forman part 1

Dumbasses shouldn’t take up space in my brain.

If the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

You know that feeling when you’re doing something stupid? That’s your whole life.

It’s all about the money, and I’m always broke.

My house, my rules, my foot in your ass.

You can’t polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter.

I don’t care if you hate me, but don’t mess with my family.

A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.

If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart.

You’re a great kid, but you’re also a complete moron.

Wisdom and Wit – Memorable Quotes from Red Forman part 2

Life is a form of punishment; it’s just easier to deal with if you have a sense of humor.

The more I know, the more I realize I don’t want to know anything.

You’re lucky I don’t put your head through the wall.

Do I look like I care? Because I don’t.

My patience is like my hairline: it’s thinning.

You’ll never be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but you can be the one that cuts the deepest.

I don’t suffer fools gladly; in fact, I don’t suffer them at all.

Teenagers are like cockroaches: they get everywhere.

Education is important, but understanding the world is crucial.

A little pain never hurt anyone—at least not anyone I care about.

Wisdom and Wit – Memorable Quotes from Red Forman part 3

If I wanted to listen to an idiot, I’d turn on the TV.

Your dreams are like my socks: I don’t give a damn about them.

I’m not here to make friends; I’m here to make you smarter.

Common sense isn’t that common, is it?

Dare to dream? More like dare to do something useful.

Life is tough; it’s even tougher if you’re stupid.

If you’re not getting kicked in the teeth, you’re not trying hard enough.

Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness; it’s just strategy.

Every generation has its idiots; I just happen to be surrounded by yours.

You can’t fix stupid, but you can sure slap it around.

Wisdom and Wit – Memorable Quotes from Red Forman part 4

Your opinions are like armpits: everyone has them, and they all stink.

Being average is a full-time job—good luck with that.

You think you’re special? Well, you’re just another face in the crowd!

I’ve got a degree in ‘not giving a damn.’

Reality is a cruel teacher; it throws you into the deep end.

In a world full of sheep, strive to be the wolf.

If you can’t handle the truth, you’re in deep trouble.

Your failure isn’t my problem—I can’t fix everything.

Stop whining; it doesn’t get you anywhere.

Life’s a journey, but yours is stuck in traffic.

Wisdom and Wit – Memorable Quotes from Red Forman part 5

The world isn’t a playground; it’s a battlefield.

You want wisdom? Look elsewhere; I’m fresh out.

Don’t take life too seriously; you’ll never get out alive.

I’m an acquired taste; if you don’t like me, acquire some taste.

Keep your chin up; it’s hard to kick your ass when you’re looking down.