D’oh! It’s like my brain and my mouth are in different time zones.
Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
You can’t keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once and move on.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean S-M-A-R-T!
Mmm donuts. The breakfast of champions.
It’s not a lie if you believe it.
Family: the only thing more important than donuts.
I can’t believe it! Im still not a millionaire!
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.
I dont need to be a scientist. I have a TV.
I am not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids.
This is the worst day of my life. The worst day of your life so far.
You know, I dont think that the secret to happiness is the same for everyone.
Ive learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.
The lesson is never take life too seriously.
Im a model of unselfishness. I modeled it after me!
It’s only funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s hilarious!
If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing.
I can’t promise I’ll try, but I’ll try to try.
Ice cream is my favorite food group.
The only thing Im good at is being lazy.
Im not a bad parent. I just have a unique parenting style.
Youre not a failure until you start blaming others.
Im a full-time dad and part-time everything else.
You know what’s great about telling a lie? It saves time!
My work is like a big, dumb elephant. It’s heavy, stinky, and always around.
It’s not just a job; it’s an adventure in mediocrity.
I have a dream! Its about my couch and a remote control.
I dream of a better world, where people can sit and do nothing together.
I prefer to think of it as a creative ambivalence.
Im not lazy; Im just on energy-saving mode.
If at first, you dont succeed, just give up. It’s easier!
Homer Simpson: a potent mix of chaos and charm.
Nothing is more dangerous than a loaded remote control.
Remember, if you ever get lost, just be Homer.
The only thing worse than being out of donuts is finding them.
Being a dad is like being a superhero without the costume.
Embrace your inner sloth; life is too short to rush.
The best part of waking up is… going back to sleep.
Sometimes, you have to make sacrifices, like donuts.
Lifes too short for sensible decisions!
Why try harder when you can hardly try?
Hobbies: my excuse for not being a productive member of society.
Life is a mystery wrapped in bacon.
In the end, everyone is just a human trying to figure things out… like me!
D’oh! It’s like my brain and my mouth are in different time zones.
Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
You can’t keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once and move on.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean S-M-A-R-T!
Mmm donuts. The breakfast of champions.
It’s not a lie if you believe it.
Family: the only thing more important than donuts.
I can’t believe it! Im still not a millionaire!
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.
I dont need to be a scientist. I have a TV.
I am not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids.
This is the worst day of my life. The worst day of your life so far.
You know, I dont think that the secret to happiness is the same for everyone.
Ive learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.
The lesson is never take life too seriously.
Im a model of unselfishness. I modeled it after me!
It’s only funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s hilarious!
If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing.
I can’t promise I’ll try, but I’ll try to try.
Ice cream is my favorite food group.
The only thing Im good at is being lazy.
Im not a bad parent. I just have a unique parenting style.
Youre not a failure until you start blaming others.
Im a full-time dad and part-time everything else.
You know what’s great about telling a lie? It saves time!
My work is like a big, dumb elephant. It’s heavy, stinky, and always around.
It’s not just a job; it’s an adventure in mediocrity.
I have a dream! Its about my couch and a remote control.
I dream of a better world, where people can sit and do nothing together.
I prefer to think of it as a creative ambivalence.
Im not lazy; Im just on energy-saving mode.
If at first, you dont succeed, just give up. It’s easier!
Homer Simpson: a potent mix of chaos and charm.
Nothing is more dangerous than a loaded remote control.
Remember, if you ever get lost, just be Homer.
The only thing worse than being out of donuts is finding them.
Being a dad is like being a superhero without the costume.
Embrace your inner sloth; life is too short to rush.
The best part of waking up is… going back to sleep.
Sometimes, you have to make sacrifices, like donuts.
Lifes too short for sensible decisions!
Why try harder when you can hardly try?
Hobbies: my excuse for not being a productive member of society.
Life is a mystery wrapped in bacon.
In the end, everyone is just a human trying to figure things out… like me!
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