Alcohol: because no great story ever started with a salad.
I told myself I shouldn’t drink, but then I remembered how good I am at breaking promises.
I’m not drunk, I’m just speaking in cursive.
The only thing Im committed to tonight is this bottle.
Trust me, I’m a professional at making bad decisions while tipsy.
I dont always drink, but when I do, I prefer to forget my name.
Its not a hangover, its a party souvenir.
Wine not? It makes everything feel like a celebration!
A day without wine is like… just kidding, I have no idea.
Why limit happy to just an hour?
Vodka: turning me into a poet since 2009.
Beer: because adulting is hard.
Sometimes, the best therapy is a glass of wine and a little bit of chaos.
I’m on a liquid diet; it’s very effective!
Drunk minds speak sober thoughts… or completely nonsensical ones.
Im not an alcoholic; Im just a social drinker who occasionally drinks alone!
Sippin and spillin the tea is my kind of night.
You cant buy happiness, but you can buy drinks, and thats pretty close.
If you think youre too drunk, you may not be drunk enough to stop!
Wine flies when you’re having fun, especially if you keep pouring.
When life gives you lemons, grab a drink and make a cocktail.
Never judge a person by their drink; its about the fun they bring!
Im not slurring my words, Im speaking in code.
Give me a cocktail and call me a philosopher.
I prefer my drinks strong and my decisions weak.
Drunk? No, Im just a little tipsy on courage.
Cheers to the nights we won’t remember with friends we’ll never forget!
I like my cocktails like my jokes: on the rocks!
Sometimes I wonder if Im drinking to forget or just to have fun.
Wine: because its always a good time for self-reflection… or numbing!
If you’re not laughing, you’re not drinking hard enough.
I would tell you a joke about beer, but it might be too hoppy.
I’ve got 99 problems, but this drink isnt one of them.
On the rocks? No, I prefer my life with extra sprinkles!
Lets drink until we forget that we have to sober up.
Alcohol: my favorite dress code for any occasion.
Im not a lightweight; I just take my time enjoying every sip.
Get in loser, were going to drink our regrets away!
Adventure awaits at the bottom of this glass!
Friends who drink together, stay together… usually passed out on the couch.
Lifes a party, and Im the DJ, pouring all the hits!
In vino veritas… and also a lot of bad karaoke!
Shots? Only if they come with a side of laughter.
Who needs a shrink when you have a bar?
Im just a cocktail away from solving all my problems.
Alcohol: because no great story ever started with a salad.
I told myself I shouldn’t drink, but then I remembered how good I am at breaking promises.
I’m not drunk, I’m just speaking in cursive.
The only thing Im committed to tonight is this bottle.
Trust me, I’m a professional at making bad decisions while tipsy.
I dont always drink, but when I do, I prefer to forget my name.
Its not a hangover, its a party souvenir.
Wine not? It makes everything feel like a celebration!
A day without wine is like… just kidding, I have no idea.
Why limit happy to just an hour?
Vodka: turning me into a poet since 2009.
Beer: because adulting is hard.
Sometimes, the best therapy is a glass of wine and a little bit of chaos.
I’m on a liquid diet; it’s very effective!
Drunk minds speak sober thoughts… or completely nonsensical ones.
Im not an alcoholic; Im just a social drinker who occasionally drinks alone!
Sippin and spillin the tea is my kind of night.
You cant buy happiness, but you can buy drinks, and thats pretty close.
If you think youre too drunk, you may not be drunk enough to stop!
Wine flies when you’re having fun, especially if you keep pouring.
When life gives you lemons, grab a drink and make a cocktail.
Never judge a person by their drink; its about the fun they bring!
Im not slurring my words, Im speaking in code.
Give me a cocktail and call me a philosopher.
I prefer my drinks strong and my decisions weak.
Drunk? No, Im just a little tipsy on courage.
Cheers to the nights we won’t remember with friends we’ll never forget!
I like my cocktails like my jokes: on the rocks!
Sometimes I wonder if Im drinking to forget or just to have fun.
Wine: because its always a good time for self-reflection… or numbing!
If you’re not laughing, you’re not drinking hard enough.
I would tell you a joke about beer, but it might be too hoppy.
I’ve got 99 problems, but this drink isnt one of them.
On the rocks? No, I prefer my life with extra sprinkles!
Lets drink until we forget that we have to sober up.
Alcohol: my favorite dress code for any occasion.
Im not a lightweight; I just take my time enjoying every sip.
Get in loser, were going to drink our regrets away!
Adventure awaits at the bottom of this glass!
Friends who drink together, stay together… usually passed out on the couch.
Lifes a party, and Im the DJ, pouring all the hits!
In vino veritas… and also a lot of bad karaoke!
Shots? Only if they come with a side of laughter.
Who needs a shrink when you have a bar?
Im just a cocktail away from solving all my problems.
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